~* Whirlwind *~

The early times revolve about me.
Somedays they spin so fast
I can not even see them.
But this day I see the whirl clearly.

Pieces of thoughts fly by
Like torn newspaper clippings,
Headlines rotate through my mind.

I can feel the emotions
As each one twirls past me:
The accidents, the glories,
The politics, the meanings.

As I grow older, sometimes
They overwhelm me
With their myriad memories
From early times:
Joys, sorrows, and moments of deep feeling.

Smells, taste, emotions whirl past me
In a hurricane of memories
To remind me that ... I Am.

DanD Rau & Sazzy Oh

~* Whispers in the wind *~

There are no whispers;
There is no wind;
There is just the vast silence of
Nothingness:

Lost,
Alone,
Tears,
The ache that never quite goes away.

Thoughts hidden,

I tire of digging the huge holes to hide them in.
They push their way to the surface
Faster than I can cover them.

Where are the whispers in the wind,
The ones that used to whisper of hope?
The wind had died;
The whispers are dead,

Just the lonely silence,
Nothing more.

Never give up?
Ha!
Maybe it's time!

How do you get through each day
knowing the next will only be worse?
How do you smile
when your heart is breaking,
broken.

Friends run away.
No one wants to think it could be them.
Lets hide our heads in the sand and pretend.

Is there no one that will hold out a hand,
even one,
To say ... I understand?
I'm here.

Nope,
alone,
Lonely.

The end.

Winter's gift

The winter folds around my shoulders
With its frozen embrace.
Its weight too much for me to bear
And I crumble to the ground,
Motionless ... Void of feeling
Empty.

No sound,
No light,
Only the mind numbing cold
To fill the time

Time seems to have stopped
Until ...

Your hand reaches
Through the emptiness
And pulls me back to hope.

What would I do without you?

~* Shadows in my mind *~

What happens to all those things,
Those awful things
That we hide in those shadows
Somewhere deep in our brain?
Sometimes one tries to slip through
And come to the surface,
But I've gotten really good
At pushing them back
Into their dark corners.
They will not overpower me.

Yet, these are a part of me,
Formed by me.
Waiting to spring out at the worst possible time.

These are all thoughts of things
I could have done,
Should have done,
Would have done,
But did not.

They haunt my present and control my future
For they are strong, brawny, and unforgiving.

The weight of them is so heavy
Sometimes I cannot move,
Like a million books piled on my head
Weighing me down,
Pushing me down, down, down.

These shadows of my mind,
Simmering and boiling,
Stirring pain and regret,
Into a inedible delicacy.

When one of these
Awful things
Makes life totally unbearable,
I wrestle with it,
Take care of it,
And find out
I ... am in control
After all!

*~ Memories ~*

A new day slips
Ever so quietly into my room ...
Tiny fingers of light
Touch my cheek
In a loving Caress.

Shadows of memories
Lost in the clutter,
The past marches by me,
Soldiers in time.
Each piece a picture in time
Of what was and maybe
What will be ...
Could be ...
Should be,
Stories waiting to be told.

Clutter and time,
Rhythm and rhyme,
I sit in the silence
and think
Of things that were
And things to come,

And in the stillness
I know
Silence is not golden;
It's just lonely.

~* The Key *~

I woke up with a peculiar feeling.
Doom and impending joy
Clashed inside of me.
I was caught in a vortex
Between sadness and happiness.

What could it mean?
Why would these two oh so different feelings
Be lodged somewhere so deep inside of me
And yet come filtering out to my waking mind?

Something deep inside of me
Needed to be let loose,
But what was it:
Joy ... Sorrow ... Inspiration ... Doom ... Fear?

I sat down and stared at the brightly lit light of my computer.
It seemed to be waiting for me to ... Do... Something.
My fingers, sat lightly on the keys,
Waiting.

My chest was heavy with the feeling of
Something trying to be set free.
It actually ached.

I needed to find the key
That would open the door
That seemed so tightly locked
That I could not open it.

I felt into my pocket ... imaginary, yes ...
But still I knew, I knew, the key was there.
Deep down in the very, very bottom -
A tiny gold key!

I gingerly pulled it out,
Held it for a moment in my hand, and
Pushed it into the rusty lock ...
And, with great effort, turned the key.

The door opened ever so slowly.
I gazed in and saw ...
What looked like a soft golden cloud.
I entered and it seemed to surround me with -
What should I call it -
Clarity ... the ability to see through the dark ...
To make sense of the light ...
To actually find the path that had been opened for me.

I started down that new path,
Parts of it as dark as the darkest night,
Parts of it lit with the most beautiful light in the whole world.
And at that moment, I knew
There would always be
Times of light,
Times of dark,
And we must walk through both of them
With our heads held high,
With the knowing
That at the end of the darkness
The light would always be there.
Life is good.

~*~ Hope ~*~

Another year has flown past.
As time seems to move faster and faster,
My clickity clocks are all tickity tocking away
in perfecty harmony with the universe,
As I peer down the long road into forever.

I ponder on how fragile it all is:
Me ... You ... the World,
So breakable. What escapes me is
The oh so delicate ethereal meaning of it all.

I am so easily shattered ...
A word ... a loss
and I lose myself into a million tiny pieces
Like Humpty Dumpty
Waiting to be put back together again.

But ... then ... a tiny glimmer of light appears.
A friend said to me,
"We are fragile alone but together unbreakable."
And ... that gives me hope.

Sazzy Oh 8/7/10