~* Shadows in my mind *~

What happens to all those things,
Those awful things
That we hide in those shadows
Somewhere deep in our brain?
Sometimes one tries to slip through
And come to the surface,
But I've gotten really good
At pushing them back
Into their dark corners.
They will not overpower me.

Yet, these are a part of me,
Formed by me.
Waiting to spring out at the worst possible time.

These are all thoughts of things
I could have done,
Should have done,
Would have done,
But did not.

They haunt my present and control my future
For they are strong, brawny, and unforgiving.

The weight of them is so heavy
Sometimes I cannot move,
Like a million books piled on my head
Weighing me down,
Pushing me down, down, down.

These shadows of my mind,
Simmering and boiling,
Stirring pain and regret,
Into a inedible delicacy.

When one of these
Awful things
Makes life totally unbearable,
I wrestle with it,
Take care of it,
And find out
I ... am in control
After all!